The approach adopted in dealing with your divorce at the outset can set the tone of the way your divorce proceeds so it is critical that your divorce is started in an appropriate manner.
What often makes divorce stressful is the reason for the divorce. There are 5 potential reasons: – adultery, unreasonable behaviour, two years separation and you both agree, 5 years separation and desertion.
Only adultery or unreasonable behaviour may apply immediately, which means playing the ‘blame game’ if you want to divorce now rather than waiting two years. This is set to change in Autumn 2021 when ‘no fault’ divorce will become another reason. But it is still possible for a divorce to be amicable even now, without having ‘no fault’ divorce, if it is on unreasonable behaviour.
The allegations need to be as mild and as least upsetting as they can be. Inflammatory language is to be avoided along with the making of allegations that go beyond what is required to ensure the divorce is accepted by the court. I often advise clients upon this and they are surprised by the advice given.
To reduce conflict, the divorce can also be sent to your spouse before it is sent to the court for issue. Your spouse then has an opportunity to provide their comment and/or amendments can be made. Your spouse is not then seeing the divorce papers for the first time, straight from the court.
Once the divorce is then started, it should be relatively straightforward; usually a paper exercise with documents passing between the court and solicitors. It is highly unlikely anyone will need to attend court as it is rare for a divorce to be defended. The cost is relatively nominal and often agreed with your spouse.
If you are contemplating divorce and would like advice, please do not hesitate to contact me, Anthony Jones on 01457 761670 or by email anthony@odonnellsolicitors.co.uk. Our initial appointments are at no charge and are no obligation but will help you decide how you wish to proceed on an informed basis.
